I am often amazed that the tulips find their way out of the dark deep earth and stretch themselves to the sun each Spring. Often I feel winter leaves my eyes a bit blinded to the new spring sun, warmth overtakes me and as I enjoy all the aromas Spring has to offer I am filled.
A year of processing I have undergone, through music and writing, relationships and connecting my own dots from childhood to this place called now. Old beliefs patterns that are unserviceable I have been identifying for myself to inevitably experience freedom. Freedom from the automatic processing, automatic reactions. I want to live NOW, fully in the passionate moment. So many seconds tic away as we go from one thing to the next.
I wish to be mindful, yes of others, but now, after so long, of myself. It’s a different place for me to ever come from. I thank my “teachers” along the way! They have taught me through the agony of their hard lessons how to care for myself. And isn’t that all we really need to do?
Paying attention to the “Little Voice” inside and asking what you or perhaps your “little girl/boy” needs. That phrase has been made so cliche but it holds true. What did that child not get and how are you displaying your life to try to fill that void? Something to ponder as I sit…finally, still. As I sit looking out over the water from a long memory of yesterday. How many lives have I lived?
I share this not for you to creep into my head, nor my psyche. There have been too many that have done that in the past wanting to gain from me what they couldn’t get from themselves. I share this, because I am strong enough to share it.
The music starts from these thoughts and aren’t we all alike? We all have our work to do. I am unafraid to do mine, even though it sets my body in a fever. The veil of fear comes away and I stand clearly, regardless of the outcome.
How many ledges I have fallen from? How many times I have thrown my heart into the flames or have been tumbled from a disillusion? Countless it seems, but what hasn’t broken me, does make me stronger, and the things that have had made me learn how to heal over.